Sometimes when life gets hard, I cocoon myself. I close up. I try to brave the storm internally. The reason I fell silent online after my last post was because the following Tuesday things took a turn. As some may know, my family and I had the chance to drive down to Florida to visit a special part of our family, and to spend time making memories.
After arriving to the final destination Monday, I barely left the condo after Tuesday. My intestinal failure kicked into a flare. The days blurred with sleeping if possible to avoid the relentless nausea and pain. A lucky day I managed to make it down to the beach once, making contact with the water two precious times. My vision of family time, memory making, and most importantly my academic homework, quickly was blurred by survival mode. My goal of spending time doing homework and adventures was taken over by just trying to function through the day. Looking back on break most would assume I look on it with disappointment over the outcome. However, I don’t.
This is because our first stop in Florida was the most important. It was the day we got to spend with our beloved Grandmother, Grandma Carol. That day made all the agony that came afterwords nothing, because all that matters is the visit we had. Recently, my Grandma has been fighting grave health challenges herself. The biggest blessing is the timing of break, as it gave us the gift of everlasting memories. Before I fell sick, my family and I visited her in the hospital. I was able to hug her and love on her. I kissed her cheeks as I cradled her head. We got to hear her voice, which is a sound I treasure immensely. It was the most important stop. The following day my memory became foggy as my health became poor. I am grateful I have clear moments of our visit with her.
This week, our Grandma Carol flew to heaven. She is now free from pain. Free from being sick. Free from all the discomfort and agony. Free to be reunited with GrandBob, her forever love. She never stopped supporting me constantly through this journey… sharing my story with her beloved friends, sending me uplifting texts and prayers. She was always cheering me on, and lifting my spirits. She helped us find peace within this fight.
Times have been incredibly tough, but we are striving to remain positive. We have a guardian angel who is smiling down upon us and protecting us. We got to see our grandma and our great aunt right before I became sick. I have life. And she will always be a beautiful part of our lives. Life is so precious. I dream of cures, and I dream of seeing our Grandma again. Until then I use the support she gave us to raise awareness and the love she nurtured me with to enjoy life… after all, that’s what life is for.
We love you Grandma Carol. I love you to the moon and back. Forever and always. I hope it’s beautiful up there. Like one of the last things you said, I’ll see you again soon.