Be patient and good vibes only… That has been the mentality that has allowed me to survive his past week. It has been honestly a hard, hard, hard week. But we made it!
On Monday September 12 I underwent my three hour surgery to get my ileostomy. As it was mentioned in the last post, I was able to walk into my surgery courtesy of Dr. Rusy. It was empowering to have those last steps of control before all of my power was in the doctors hands. I imagined walking out of this… I did not. It would be my last unassisted walk for days.
I woke up to nurses surrounding me. Recovery nurses are truly hidden angels. They comfort you and help you even during the most confusing moments as you wake up and try to grasp your senses together. My nurse was really wonderful. He provided me some much needed peace as I woke up. Then being able to see both of my parents brought me even more peace. Even with all of the tubes and pumps they kissed me and reminded me I did it! My image of recovery was much different than what the outcome was. I imagined coming out and walking a few steps. I honestly forgot how complex my body was. I came out with tubes, catheters, and pumps on my legs to prevent blood clots. I was so sedated and medicated from the morphine that was going continuously and whenever I got extra morphine. I was unable to move myself or care for myself in any way at all. I was stuck. That was such a challenging feeling to have to go through.
Thankfully the following days had small signs of improvement. I was able to taper off the narcotics and stand along with taking a few steps with assistance. Each day my lungs sounded better and better. My bowels slowly showed signs of waking up. It was so challenging to have to take my recovery step by step. My dizziness was out of control. It was so limiting. After lots of digging to discover how to help me we increased my fluids and stopped a medication that was causing so many severe issues. Friday evening I celebrated by walking all on my own. After that things began to only improve. I regained my mental clarity and some more independence.
So now I celebrate. I celebrate having a belly, while still very distended, that is not as swollen. I celebrate having a functioning ileostomy… No longer needing to worry about my colon perforating. I celebrate gaining more independence each day. I celebrate being able to go outside once again. I celebrate the small steps in the right direction. I celebrate simply being alive and having a beautiful spot in this big world. I celebrate.
The plan? Heal, make progress… Go home eventually!!! It is hard to not have a cure or treatment… But it is amazing to have as much beauty in life as I currently see now.
Thank you all for lifting us up,