“Every now and then it’s good to stop climbing and appreciate the view from right where you are” Lori Deschene
As I sat this morning viewing the scenic northern woods, doing all of my medicines and medical cares, my mind was buzzing. This time of year is full of the words college, finals, graduation, late night parties, senior skip days, dorm rooms, roommates, graduation parties, and so many other amazing words. My heart is confused as the words I am hearing are medicine, infection, Palliative Care, malabsorption, medically complex… the first category of words are words I dream of saying, and being able to know the feeling of them flow off of the tip of my tongue.
With fighting so hard for my health, my timeline has changed countless times. Now it’s a trajectory of focusing on my health first, and school right after. The normal social experiences have been shoved to the side to shift focus on the bare essentials. This means continuing my education next year in high school with a modified schedule.
I fight so I can one day go to college, and I fight so that I can guarantee I can say those words of freedom one day. I fight so I can make it through the stages of life I want to conquer. So I tell my confused soul to be calm, and enjoy the view right now. To enjoy everything I have. To celebrate the fact I can say I am here. I enjoy the view, even though this year it may be watching my fellow classmates graduate from the audience.
Despite that, I am thankful for that view, I am thankful to be alive, and I can’t wait to see them spread their wings. I am learning tht even though my view is so different, it’s something I’ve fought for, to just have a “view”. I am living and learning to navigate life, adn that’s something to celebrate in itself. I thank my classmates as they get ready to leap into this new chapter: thank you for making my view so gorgeous. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for being there. Thank you for including me, for respecting me, for never judging the ever changing amount of tubes or pumps. You’ve seem me, Isabelle, and it’s been an honor to grow with you. I can’t wait to see what you all view as you blossom into this next phase.
Because trust me, this view so far is pretty amazing,