The Natural Way To Be Fed
As of today it has been eight days in the hospital… That is a number I can not really process. It all simply began with not being able to tolerate my NJ feeds, but my body chose to make it more exciting than that. It has been a whirlwind of high blood pressures, barf buckets, and late night sprints to the PICU. I am so thankful that I am surrounded by a village of people that make me smile and bubble over with joy. They help distract me from one of my new challenges: the digestive tract. Your digestive tract takes what you put into it, and turns it into the nourishment that helps your body thrive and flourish… But what happens when the body is no longer capable of that? That is my current question I have floating in my mind. I look up at my NJ feed bag, that is now simply running fluids, and see the bags of PPN and lipids beside it. It is not natural to be fed through your veins, but that has been my reality these past couple of days. I am now reaching a point that will tell us if I will be fed through a PICC line until my much anticipated appointment at Nationwide Children’s in Columbus, Ohio (the pediatric GI motility dreamland) on March 9th. I have struggled with that idea these past couple of days. It has crept over me with quivers of anxiety. Today has brought me so much clarity. I adapt. It is what I do. I learn to embrace the changes in my failing physical body as I spiritually grow and blossom inside. As these big decisions are made in the next few days I have realized something. I have adapted. So either I make it out of the hospital with NJ feeds or a PICC line with TPN, I know I will embrace that as my natural way to be fed. Because after all, I have, and will continue to, adapt to this new essence of natural.
Sending Joy and love,